The Rise of Reality Dating Shows: Exploring "Are You My First?" and Cultural Implications

Hulu's new dating show "Are You My First?" features a cast of 21 self-identified virgins in their 20s and 30s, set against the backdrop of a resort. The series aims to explore adult virginity without judgment, with many contestants citing conservative religious beliefs, primarily Christian and Mormon, as reasons for their status. The show is hosted by Colton Underwood, the first virgin bachelor from "The Bachelor" franchise, and Kaitlyn Bristowe. The format has drawn comparisons to other dating shows, such as "Love Island USA," but with a unique twist focused on virginity.

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The emergence of "Are You My First?" aligns with a broader cultural moment in America, marked by a conservative wave that emphasizes traditional values surrounding sex and relationships. Hollis Griffin, a professor at the University of Michigan, notes that the show reflects a backlash against progressive views on sexuality amid ongoing political and cultural divisions. This context is further underscored by a decline in sexual activity among younger generations, particularly Gen Z, with a Kinsey Institute survey indicating that about one in five single American adults identifies as a virgin.

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Kesia Constantine, a psychologist, highlights the anxiety surrounding sexual encounters for adult virgins, suggesting that sex can feel performative and intimidating, especially for those in their 30s. This anxiety is compounded by societal pressures and the meanings attached to virginity, which can make the pursuit of intimacy feel burdensome rather than enjoyable. Carter Sherman, author of "The Second Coming: Sex and the Next Generation’s Fight Over Its Future," emphasizes that while young people may still be interested in sex, they are increasingly anxious about intimacy and vulnerability.

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Critics have expressed skepticism regarding the show's premise and execution. Reviews have described "Are You My First?" as chaotic and questioned its low stakes and relevance. The Daily Beast remarked on the show's lack of depth, suggesting that the treatment of virginity as competitive and transactional detracts from a more expansive understanding of sexuality. Despite this, the show has found an audience among viewers interested in the intersection of dating and conservative values.

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The show's producer, Karen Plumb, has hinted at the possibility of including queer contestants in future seasons, which could further diversify the representation of virginity and sexuality on screen. As the show continues to air, it may serve as a cultural barometer, reflecting ongoing conversations about intimacy, vulnerability, and the evolving landscape of dating in America.

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• “They’re scared of sex, they’re scared of intimacy, and they’re scared of talking to people.” — Karen Plumb, Executive Producer

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• “They put so much weight on sex and laden it with all these meanings that it’s not fun to pursue.” — Kesia Constantine, Licensed Psychologist

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• “We’re in a moment — and I hope it’s brief — that it’s not cool to be different,” — Hollis Griffin, Professor

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While many sources agree on the show's premise and cultural context, there is a divergence in opinions regarding its impact and relevance. Some critics argue that it trivializes important discussions about sexuality, while others see it as a necessary exploration of virginity in contemporary society. The lack of comprehensive audience data from Hulu also leaves questions about the show's actual viewership and reception.

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