Story perspectives

Conversational Narcissism: Why Listening Matters in Dialogue

3/25/2026

Summary

Story summary

Conversational narcissism describes a pattern where people dominate conversations by focusing on themselves.
It was coined by sociologist Charles Derber in 1979.
The behavior stems from insecurity or limited social skills rather than pure self-absorption, according to Dr. Sue Varma.
A common tactic is "boomerasking," where a question redirects attention back to the asker.
The phenomenon is prevalent in modern discourse, underscoring the need for genuine listening and engagement.

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Story summary

Conversational narcissism describes a pattern where people dominate conversations by focusing on themselves.
It was coined by sociologist Charles Derber in 1979.
The behavior stems from insecurity or limited social skills rather than pure self-absorption, according to Dr. Sue Varma.
A common tactic is "boomerasking," where a question redirects attention back to the asker.
The phenomenon is prevalent in modern discourse, underscoring the need for genuine listening and engagement.