The Enduring Charm of Bert: A Personal Reflection on a Chef Statuette

Adrian Chiles, a broadcaster and writer, shares his affection for a statuette he named Bert, depicting a cheery chef holding a menu board and giving a thumbs up. Chiles discovered Bert in a reclamation yard in Old Hill, Black Country, run by a humorous individual also named Bert. Initially hesitant to purchase the statuette, Chiles found himself drawn back to it, ultimately deciding to buy it as a source of daily joy. He reflects on the emotional connection he feels towards Bert, likening it to the happiness he once derived from a cuckoo clock, which he later silenced after a frustrating incident.

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Chiles describes Bert's features, noting the chef's expressive eyes that convey both good humor and a hint of weariness, suggesting a late night. He appreciates Bert's portly figure, which he believes is fitting for a chef, and remarks on the need for the statuette's attire to reflect its kitchen history. The menu board Bert holds is intentionally vague, evoking a timeless quality that resonates with Chiles. He highlights the use of the West Midlands term "bostin," which means excellent or superb, as a conversation starter for visitors intrigued by the statuette.

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Chiles recounts a moment of disloyalty when he stumbled upon a photo of himself with a similar, larger chef statue in Croatia. This discovery unsettled him, likening it to finding an ex-girlfriend's photo that resembles his current partner. Despite the resemblance to other chef statues, which Chiles learns are part of a broader "retro European chef mascot" tradition, he maintains his affection for Bert, viewing him as a unique representation of Black Country culture.

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Chiles humorously contemplates the idea of becoming an eccentric collector of chef statuettes, envisioning a future where he assembles a collection reminiscent of a terracotta army. He considers the legacy this collection could leave for his descendants, framing it as a "bostin legacy." This reflection on collecting and the emotional ties to objects speaks to a broader human experience of finding joy and meaning in everyday items.

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• “I haven’t felt this way about an artefact since I bought a cuckoo clock.” — Adrian Chiles, Broadcaster and Writer

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• “A chef should look like he enjoys his food – I’ve no truck with skinny cooks; I want them high on their supply.” — Adrian Chiles, Broadcaster and Writer

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• “Excellent, ace, great, superb, wonderful etc.” — Adrian Chiles, Broadcaster and Writer

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• “Unique poor Bert certainly isn’t.” — Adrian Chiles, Broadcaster and Writer

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Chiles' narrative encapsulates the personal significance of seemingly mundane objects, illustrating how they can evoke joy and nostalgia, while also connecting to broader cultural themes.

The Guardian